I don't know if it's been this crappy ass weather, the lack of sunlight, the shifting of the moon or what....but I have been in the oddest funk the last week or so. Last Monday was great, we had a great anniversary and we got to officially start calling Fluff HE....but it's sort of gone down hill from there. The rest of the week I have been hit with huge bouts of feeling blue. At one point I honestly felt like crawling under my desk at work and balling my eyes out. I know that pregnant woman have wild hormones and all that jazz, but this honestly sucks ass. I have had my share of moodiness, but this is ridiculous. I was curled up in a ball sobbing on Daddy worried that I was going to fuck up my son. I'm sure I will....or at least he'll go through a phase where he thinks I did....all kids do, but for some reason today, I don't know if it was going to the shower or holding our friends son Dylan (who will be a year older than Fluff) or the fact that Fluff is moving around so much more and making his presence known, but I just had a complete and total freak out. And for the record, 10:30 on a Sunday night is not the best time for this, not that there ever is one. Thank GODDESS for Uncle Didi who helped talk me down.
Let's hope these feelings pass....cause I hate being Eeyore.
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I had help from the Station Wagon and Mikhail's first toy, the petrified cat ... *winks*
You call me any time you need ... or want ...
We're all afraid of screwing up ... of doing something utterly detrimental to the well being of our children ... but we just have to keep in mind that we do the best we can ... we didn't wind up incurably ruined for life from what our parents did ... and neither will our children ...
Besides, if Mikhail gets uppity about you ruining his life just tell him, HEY ... it could be worse ... I could have let Uncle Didi pierce your naval when you were 3!
Always all my love
D
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